An antidote to difficult times

Do you want to have a ‘special place’ where you can feel comfortable, contented, at peace, happy, safe; where you can go whenever you want to? This exercise can take you there.

It is best to choose a place that is real, that you have been to before, but if you cannot think of such a place then you could create one with your imagination. Just imagine what this place would be like.

To do this exercise, take yourself to a place where you will not be disturbed, where there is a chair you can sit on comfortably and where you can write with pen and paper.

Write down a description of your ‘special place’. It need not be a detailed one, just the important and positive things about it that make it special for you. [It is best not to include people close to you, such as family members, who may give you negative feelings as well as positive ones.] Perhaps it is a beach you have been to or your imagined beach. Write down what you may see, hear, smell and feel around you. For example: “I see blue sky and golden sand; I smell fresh sea air and taste the salt on my tongue; I feel the warm water washing over my feet; I hear children laughing and the gentle wind blowing.”

When you have written your description, with your eyes closed or just lowering your gaze, in a calm soft voice or just inwardly, describe this place again to yourself. Notice the positive feelings you get as you are doing this. Be there for a while and enjoy the positive feelings it brings; feelings perhaps of comfort, contentment, peace, happiness and safety.

Then visit this place in your mind frequently. The more you do this, the easier it becomes to connect with the feelings it gives you. Each time you visit, see if you can increase those feelings to a higher level. Enjoy being in that place each time. If you give your ‘special place’ a name, then eventually just saying the name can take you there.

Once you have got used to going there you can use it to help defuse difficult times. Perhaps you would like to test the effectiveness of this exercise. All you have to do is to recall an event that gave you a moderately disturbing feeling. Then, bringing up that feeling, say the name of your ‘special place’ and go there. Stay there until your disturbing feeling subsides and perhaps disappears.