Most of the difficult moments in our lives can be best dealt with if we can keep a ‘lightness of touch’.  This is not ‘making light’ of something, making it less than it is, nor does it mean that we are not giving it the time and attention it deserves.  It is more about our approach, keeping a sense of space around it, perhaps even a gentle humour which prevents it from getting too out of perspective.  As we find ourselves descending into some familiar negative state of mind, a wry smile and the thought ‘here I go again’, is a better antidote than frustration or panic.  But how can we achieve this ?

Lao Tsu, one of China’s early philosophers, said that a great lord should rule his land like you cook a small fish.  Poke it too much and you spoil it.  This remains good advice even if the only land we have to rule is ourselves.

We know that the mind more easily goes to thoughts and feelings that are familiar, so it can help to make some regular space and time in our lives for play.  If our initial reaction to doing this is ‘what a waste of time’ or ‘ I would feel so guilty’, then it will be difficult. But consider, much of our initial learning in life came through play.  It is the way the child explores their world and the objects in it, developing skills for the future.

Winnicott developed a way of encouraging play in a therapy session in order to reveal what lay behind the difficulties which someone might be experiencing.  Rather than telling someone what the ‘expert’ thinks is the problem, he advised an approach which would lead to shared discovery.  One way in which he did this was to offer a ‘squiggle’ and invite the person to look at it and just play with making it into a picture.  What emerged from this interaction would then be discussed and gradually something of what was going on in that person’s unconscious would be revealed.

You don’t have to be an artist to do these exercises.  The quality of the artwork is not important.  Find a sheet of paper and in a completely random way draw some squiggles on it.  Spend some time just looking at them. Then choosing whichever appeals to you most, use pen, crayon, paint, whatever you have and add to it, seeing where it takes you.  Like cooking a little fish, don’t poke it too much with your thoughts, just play with it, who knows where it might lead?.